radstunts: thirteenth-zodiac-sign: bllonde: Dear tampon and pad companies: Please make your items quieter to open. Sincerely, The whole restaurant/household/bathroom now knows I am on my period, thank you. I just thought my flat-mates were eating crisps in the toilet. that is the single most british sentence i have ever read
quazza: i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence
meggannn: alibabakun: we’ve all read a fanfic that was so disturbing it changed ur life Oh fuck no
deanisaclosetedgeek: deidaracchi: today in science we had this sub nd the other people went outside so it was just me and a couple friends so we flipped all the chairs upside down and formed a satanic star in the middle of the room w yard sticks and i laid in t he middle of th floor while all the other people acted like they were sacrificing me th en the sub came in and the only thing he said...
offbeatorbit: scrappydont: Jesse Eisenberg Wants You To Know He’s Smarter Than You (x) more than one person has said they didn’t have access to this video in their country, and the world needs to see this, so here you go! what a dickhead. Ummmmmmm wow
agroncriss: i remember when france gave the uk one point last year and then graham norton said: we built a tunnel to your country
troyesivan: imawanchor: dylanofryin: actual picture of actual one direction fans it’s like a scene from a zombie movie THEY’RE HERE
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
Exclamation: Tumblr. + Yahoo! = !! →
vh1: usatoday: shortformblog: yahoo: I’m delighted to announce that we’ve reached an agreement to acquire Tumblr! We promise not to screw it up. Tumblr is incredibly special and has a great thing going. We will operate Tumblr independently. David Karp will remain CEO. The product roadmap, their team, their wit and… Note to Yahoo: If you post images in text posts, they don’t look as good...
elfi3: here’s a fun fact get the fuck away from me
The board of Yahoo, the faded Web pioneer, agreed on Sunday to buy the popular...– The New York Times, “Yahoo to Buy Tumblr for $1.1 Billion.” David Karp will get $250 million, BTW. (via inothernews) Yeah. I’m not saying yahoo is all bad but for the people crying about the yahoo hate? Do you read the fucking news? In what world are yahoo’s acquisitions thriving?...
Today at work...
Me: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?
Customer: I need to get my subscription changed to my new address and renew for next year.
Me: I'd be happy to help you with that; do you have a CRN?
Customer: Not on me. Can you search by my name?
Me: Certainly. And your name is?
Customer: Mark Pellegrino.
Me: ...Mark Pellegrino?
Me: As in...Mark Pellegrino? Like, Lucifer, Mark Pellegrino?
Customer: *chuckles* Yes, like Mark Pellegrino.
Me: Oh my God. You're Mark Pellegrino.
angeldictator: Remember that episode of Spongebob, where Spongebob and Mr. Krabs thought they killed the health inspector, but instead of calling the police, they taught children it’s okay to just bury the body instead.
spookymormon: spookymormon: my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
10-roses: thedancinggallifreyan: littlelionheartedqueen: if the tardis is infinite with infinite rooms then maybe we’re all in the tardis and don’t even know it MAYBE OUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS ONE ROOM IN THE TARDIS SHUT UP
titaniumbutt: you may be the but i am the Sweer