Other handles: Leillu, Misha
24 yr old dork from Texas.
Dreams of writing and making films.
Fandoms include (not limited to) doctor who, teen wolf, minecraft, star trek, supernatural, spaced,lotr, inception. ask me shit --------------------------------------- Last.Fm

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called the dentist back

after not being able to go for various reasons, and they kept calling to schedule a cleaning.

i call and they say im not due for a visit until april? uhhh, ok. why have you been calling me since october then? its not even that they are booked.

ughhh. i really need to get my teeth cleaned and scaled. im kind nervous about the scaling. but i went through a really dark time and completely neglected my teeth/hygiene and my teeth are suffering still.

doesnt help that im scared of the dentist.


Me: what do you think of me dyeing my hair black again

Mom: no, it's too dark. This red is better, makes your cheeks rounder. Black made you look so thin.

Me: wait. Wait, red makes me fat?

Mom: NONO, but in a good way, it brings out your round cheeks.

Me: .....

Mom: plus youll look like those people with black hair.

Me...[round cheeeeeeeks]

Mom: ...those people, the ones that wear all black

Me: I wear all black

Mom: no you don't, you wear colors

Me: only because you made me.

Mom: well, it's your hair. Do what you want

Me: are you going to cry?

Mom: I always cry when you mess with your hair.

Meet the Blogger.

- Name: Marisa
- Eye Color: brown 
- Hair Style/Color: naturally it is black, but i dyed it dark red. it’s a shaggy bob with a side fringe.
- Height: 5’3” 
- Clothing style: black skinny jeans, red converse and preppy top/graphic tee
- Best physical feature: hair. it’s survived so many bad dye jobs

- Your fears: driving, going new places, eating, dying before my mother does.
- Your guilty pleasure: pop radio
- Ambitions for the future: find a place of my own, a job that doesnt kill my soul and finally write down my thoughts.

- Your first thoughts waking up: shit, what time is it, cat get off my face.
- What you think about most: how much debt i have, and is my mom happy
- What you think about before bed: work
- You think your best quality is: my sarcasm and wit


- Single or group dates: group, less focus on my inadequate social abilities.
- To be loved or respected: loved
- Beauty or brains:brains
- Dogs or cats: cats. the only dog i love is my mother’s


- Lie: always
- Believe in yourself: no
- Believe in love: no
- Want someone: in a romantic capacity, no.


- Been on stage: yes 
- Done drugs: yes
- Changed who you were to fit in: yes

- Favorite color: red
- Favorite animal: cats
- Favorite movie: La Cité des enfants perdus
- Favorite game: Final Fantasy 8 (buy it on steam, motherfuckers)

- Day your next birthday will be: Wednesday, July 2
- How old will you be: 25
- Does age matter: as i get older, yes.

(Source: illogicalhumanoid)


- Name: Marisa
- Eye Color: dark brown
- Hair Style/Color: Bob, Black/Red

- Height:  5’3”

- Clothing style: Dark wash skinny jeans, layers, boots.

- Best physical feature: smile?


- Your fears:  Making mistakes, swimming and heights
- Your guilty pleasure:  trashy documentaries
- Ambitions for the future: Get a promotion at the restaurant or find a better job. write a book, and do more creative projects. Make more friends


- Your first thoughts waking up: "please, dont call me into work already"
- What you think about most: right now it’s youtubers, specifically LPers. the first thing i do after work is watch the latest episodes of the mindcrackers, markiplier, and Rooster Teeth
- What you think about before bed: too much
- You think your best quality is:  Being friendly?


- Single or group dates: No
- To be loved or respected: Respected
- Beauty or brains: Brains

- Dogs or cats: Cats.


- Lie: Yes. 
- Believe in yourself: Not really
- Believe in love: Romantic, no.
- Want someone: No


- Been on stage:  yes
- Done drugs: yes
- Changed who you were to fit in: yes, all the way until college


- Favorite color: Red
- Favorite animal: Kitties
- Favorite movie: La Cité des enfants perdus
- Favorite game: Minecraft


- Day your next birthday will be: wednesday july 2nd
- How old will you be:  25
- Does age matter: Yes

(Source: taintedcas)


I wrote an artist about using their work on one of my tumblr accounts but signed it with this account without thinking.
They said yes and addressed me as Van. First time! :D

BOLD what applies to you.


  • I am 5’4 or shorter.
  • I have many scars.
  • I tan easily.
  • I wish my hair was a different color.
  • I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
  • I have a tattoo.
  • I am self-conscious about my appearance.
  • I have/I’ve had/I need braces.
  • I wear glasses/contacts
  • I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free
  • I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
  • I have more than 2 piercings.
  • I have piercings in places besides my ears.
  • I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:

  • I’ve sworn at my parents.
  • I’ve been kicked out of the house.
  • I have a sibling less than one year old.
  • I want to have kids someday.
  • I have children.
  • I’ve lost a child.


  • I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
  • Disney movies still make me cry.
  • I’ve snorted while laughing. 
  • I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
  • I’ve glued my hands to something.
  • I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
  • I’ve had my pants rip in public.


  • I was born with a disease/impairment.
  • I currently have a serious disease 
  • I’ve had stitches.
  • I’ve broken a bone.
  • I’ve had my tonsils removed.
  • I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
  • I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
  • I’ve had surgery.
  • I’ve had chicken pox.


  • I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
  • I’ve been to Canada.
  • I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
  • I’ve been to Japan.
  • I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
  • I’ve been to Spain.
  • I’ve been to Africa.
  • I’ve been to Italy.
  • I’ve been to France.
  • I’ve been to London.


  • I’ve been lost in my city.
  • I’ve seen a shooting star. 
  • I’ve wished on a shooting star.
  • I’ve seen a meteor shower.
  • I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
  • I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
  • I’ve been to a casino.
  • I’ve been skydiving.
  • I’ve gone skinny dipping.
  • I’ve played spin the bottle.
  • I’ve been skiing.
  • I’ve been in a play.
  • I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
  • I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
  • I’ve seen the Northern Lights. 
  • I’ve sat on a roof top at night. 
  • I’ve played chicken.
  • I’ve played a prank on someone.
  • I’ve ridden in a taxi.
  • I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
  • I’ve eaten sushi
  • I’ve been snowboarding.


  • I’m single.
  • I’m in a relationship.
  • I’m engaged.
  • I’m married.
  • I’ve gone on a blind date.
  • I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
  • I miss someone right now.
  • I’ve been divorced.
  • I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.


  • I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender.
  • I’ve kissed a member of the same gender.
  • I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
  • I am a cuddler.
  • I’ve been kissed in the rain.
  • I’ve had sex outdoors.
  • I’ve hugged a stranger.
  • I have kissed a stranger.
  • I have had sex with a stranger.


  • I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t. 
  • I have lied to my parents about where I am.
  • I’ve cheated while playing a game.
  • I’ve run a red light. 
  • I’ve been suspended from school
  • I’ve witnessed a crime. 
  • I’ve been in a fist fight.
  • I’ve [almost] been arrested.


  • I’ve consumed alcohol.
  • I’ve smoked a cigarette.
  • I regularly drink.
  • I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
  • I’ve done hard drugs.
  • I’ve been addicted to an illegal drug.

(Source: bangbangpoppop)

im not unpretty

I look alright but i have no one.

When I dont send nudes they stop talking to me.

Maybe I am afraid of intimacy.

Ive never had sex. the only times I ever came close enough is when I was really drunk but not drunk enough.

Maybe Im gay. maybe Im bi. maybe I’m asexual?

Mostly I hate people and the thought of having to change my daily routines for another person makes my skin crawl. how long will it take them to get tired of me? how long until they get annoyed? when instead of having sex, i really want to watch that movie I came over for in the first place?

it takes me 3 hours to get ready every morning. 1 hour for internet, 30 minutes to eat, 30 to put my headphones on, and the last hour to actually get ready.

I have to do these things everyday, or i get irritated. I drive certain places and if i deviate from that i get nervous, flustered and feel sick.

I cant answer the phone. I agonize for hours before returning a call or even a text.

I cant express myself correctly. I come off as short and i don’t mean to its just in the span of you making small talk, I’m thinking about what i could be doing. What I should be doing and what I’m putting off. what i did yesterday and all these fucking thoughts racing through my mind. so im sorry when i dont give you my full attention.

There have been people in my life, when I was with them I didn’t have to think. My thoughts would be quiet and I could focus on the person, on that moment. But eventually, they’d get tired of waiting for me to change. When they realized I couldn’t be that person they got glimpses of sometimes, the bold and outgoing normal person, they left. Some said goodbye and others deleted me from their life.

I’m torn from wanting to have what other people have, these connections. Having someone to come home to, who looks at me like I hung the fucking moon. But then I remember.

You can’t have that. You don’t have the luxury of that life. So I work and work until I’m too tired to think. I come home and endlessly scroll the websites or get what little attention I can from the people online. And I watch movies. And that’s what my life has become.

I’m only 24. I still have time, right?


New goal: obtain SAG card before Im 30. A few friends have theirs already and I is jelly.

my name is Marisa killed my father. prepare to-wait. hang on

i’ve heard many screw ups of my name through the years. ‘Marisa’ should be easy, right. it’s pronounced with a rolled r, kind of like Madisa if you cant really roll r’s. hell even the white ‘mahrisssa’ is ok. i wont be mad. misha/mischa is also perfectly acceptable for reasons im not going into right now

not my name:

  • Mary
  • marsha
  • maria
  • melissa
  • marlenne
  • midasa
  • maryanne

the cutest screw up would go to my moms really old provider. she gave me a gift card for my birthday and addressed it to:

' Mali'ca' wis love.'

haha old people.

sidenote, my mom’s maiden name is Montoya. so thats why the joke up there.

Played 0 times

Your name and username.

Where you’re from.

Pronounce the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Caught, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, GPOY.

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?

What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call gym shoes?

What do you call your grandparents?

What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?

What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Choose a book and read a passage from it. (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Do you think you have an accent?

Be a wizard or a vampire?

Do you know anyone on Tumblr in real life?

End audio post by saying any THREE words you want.

testing my new microphone. my pop filter doesn’t come in until Wednesday, so yeah